Ups and Downs of 2012
Ups and Downs of 2012
2012 had been a rough year for me physically and mentally. I was in the hospital for psychiatric evaluation at least four times. I had a couple of endoscopes, a hospitalization for my back and even a couple of back procedures including a radio frequency ablation on my lower back.
To top it off I injured my rotator cuff on my left shoulder. It ended up being more inconvenient because I'm left handed.
Worst of all, I attempted suicide in October. I reached my lowest point. The mental and emotional pain enveloped me and I took pain pills. Luckily I came to my senses and I called my husband. It was the most important phone call I ever made. I ended up with an ambulance ride to the hospital and a weekend stay in the psychiatric wing.
That singular episode changed my life. With the help of my psychiatrist, therapist, and husband I worked through my Wellness Recovery Action Plan and added more specific details that would encourage me find help earlier in a crisis moment.
I knew my life had been altered forever. I told my husband I needed a change and as we drove past our neighborhood church their bulletin board sign caught my eye. A neighborhood ladies bible study group was meeting that week. I knew I had to go. My gut told me and I always listen to my gut.
I found exactly what I had been missing in my life: Fellowship and worshiping God in a safe and happy environment. The ladies were nonjudgmental and accepting. I was able to open up to them. Share with them. I told them everything from having chronic illnesses to having Bipolar and recently attempting suicide. They didn't judge me. The loved me. They let me be a part of their group. They welcomed me with open arms.
I resolve to make 2013 a better year mentally and physically. I'm on track with my doctors to find out what is causing the pain in my stomach. My back is feeling great and I joined my local Curves to work out. I'm working with an orthopedic doctor to repair my shoulder and using physical therapy to get it back in working condition.
I have joined my local church and attend service every Sunday. With God in my pocket, I have found an inner peace that surrounds my life and calms me.
I know that I'm not perfect. It doesn't matter anymore. I can accept that and move on. That's the motto of 2013. Moving on and upward. Letting go and letting God.
I’ve resolved to spend more time writing. I’m currently working on a collaborative novel with a good friend. I’m writing more at my blog http://vickimtaylor.blogspot.com and I’m always adding to My Balanced Life.
I wish all of you a very happy 2013 and may it be a healthier 2013 both mentally and physically for all of you!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
--
Vicki M. Taylor
Comments
I appreciate all the comments and well wishes. I wanted to let you know that I still attend my church weekly and still go to the ladies bible study every Wednesday. I am writing in my blogs and keeping up with my "to do" list, mot of the time. I usually have more than I can handle in one day, but there is always tomorrow, right? Best of all, I've been promoting the heck out of my two books that released at the end of the year and the promotion has paid off in good reviews and radio interviews. I enjoy writing for IBF. It keeps me current with what is going on with all us "creative" types and Bipolar News in general.
Hello! I just would like to give a huge thumbs up for the fantastic information you might have here on this post. I will be coming back to your weblog for much more soon.
Mitchell and Ness Jerseys
http://nfljerseys2012.likesyou.org
Thanks so much for posting and sharing what you've been through. We're all different, but in a way, we're still very similar. We've all walked the walk. I appreciate the comments.
Wow Vicki. With the exception that I was unable to remain with my husband, I can tell the same story with a variation. My diagnosis didn't come until I endured 15 years of substance abuse. I had that "AHA!" moment when the psychiatrist offered it. I try not to let it define me, but I'm really new to being medically-compliant and sorta new to being in recovery (5 years). Even your back issues have plagued me and are part of the reason for my abuse of painkillers. Part I say, because after I found out what an artificial coping mechanism they could be, the addiction took over with a vengeance.
I was saved in rehab when I attended the only church to which we were transported. I walked in and felt like I was home. And wouldn't you know...the message that day was 'The Prodigal Son'.
I'm in a small group now. I was water baptized two years ago. I ask silly questions and offer observations like, "There are TWO John's in the Bible?" Who knew. I didn't.
I'm a baby Christian.
I enjoyed reading your blog and I hope you get a chance to look at some of my recent contributions here. And I hope you don't get offended. I take a humorous look at what we endure.